


Don't Cry Alone

by Deansimpallagrl, WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: Because You Let Me Pick the Music [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comatose Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Loves Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 08:18:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18069860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: He’s tried everything, including alerts from hospitals when they get a John Doe patient.  Whenever he gets to a new area following them, he calls around to all the hospitals.  He’s called so many already, he has the speech down pat, describing Dean and waiting for the inevitable negative response.





	Don't Cry Alone

Sam runs a hand over his growing beard.  It’s 3am, and he’s sitting in a motel room, staring at the walls in the darkness.  He can’t sleep, can’t even remember when was the last time he slept. When Michael took Dean and fled, Sam was broken.  His husband was gone, and worse than that, controlled by an Archangel.

Going from one lead to another, he'd been chasing them for weeks, but he always seemed to arrive too late.  Sometimes only by minutes, but usually it was by days. The bodies left behind were puzzling, making Sam desperate to find them. He can’t lose Dean. He paces the room again, worrying over where they could possibly be.  

He’s tried everything, including alerts from hospitals when they get a John Doe patient.  Whenever he gets to a new area following them, he calls around to all the hospitals. He’s called so many already, he has the speech down pat, describing Dean and waiting for the inevitable negative response.  
  
In his mind, he can see Dean’s face as it changed to Michael’s cold gaze, smoothing out Dean’s face.  All the worry lines from all the weight he puts on himself were gone. It still fills him with panic, remembering and seeing the change, unable to do anything.

 They had just accomplished something they never thought would happen. Lucifer died right in front of them, his glowing light everywhere, and Sam still feels the elation.  He remembers looking at Dean, tears of joy rolling down both their faces. They had moments of pure joy before it all fell apart. The moments of joy in their life have been so few and far between.  

Sam crumples to the floor in tears. The black blanket of despair falls over him and he weeps, until he's so exhausted from crying, he falls into hopefully sweet unconsciousness.  
  
A thin shaft of sunlight wakes Sam up where he lay on the floor.  He gets up and finds his phone, which reads 6:20 am, and he sighs.  Sam needs to decide where to go next, but he just can’t think anymore.  He takes a shower, and after dressing he decides to try new sights to see if he can find anything about a John Doe.

 As he continues is daily search, his phone dings, and he jumps up when he sees an alert about a John Doe. Luckily for him, it’s only 2 hours away.  AND the patient matches Dean’s description. But still, he has to go see for himself.

The drive is always torture for Sam.  It allows his mind to imagine what he will find.  Will Dean be on death’s door, or worse, not even remember who he is?  Baby keeps flying down the road; Sam loves the sound of her engine, because it reminds him of Dean.  It's his most favorite thing, next to Sam of course. Dean’s smell is everywhere in this car, and he can't help but pause to take a deep breath. The scents hit him one at a time. The smell of gunpowder and leather on the seats. The musky smell of their decades of sweat and good memories.  
  
After a few hours, Sam pulls up to the hospital, and the valet parks, because he doesn’t want to wait to find a space. He hurries in to the main desk and gets directed to ICU, and he races up the stairs, having no patience with elevators.  He takes a few deep breaths before going to the nurse’s station.   
  
“Hi, I’m looking for the John Doe patient that came in today.”  Sam pastes on his smile to look less desperate.   
  
“Oh, yes, the coma patient. Sure, you can take a look.  Who are you hoping he is?” The nurse's name tag reads Charlie, and that warms Sam’s heart.  She has dark brown hair pulled up in a bun at the back of her hair. Her blue eyes are bright, her smile kind.   
  
“My husband Dean went missing a few weeks back.” The confession makes Sam frown, realizing he's never referred to Dean as husband to strangers before.  He’s so caught up, he doesn't realize she said something else.   
  
“Sorry, I didn't hear that.”  Sam runs a hand through his hair with a grin.   
  
“Go in and take a look sweetheart.”  Charlie could tell from the tall man’s face that he was in pain, and for his sake, she hoped the coma patient was the long lost husband he'd been searching for.

  
When Sam walks in, his legs give out rather suddenly when he sees the one and only Dean Winchester, lying unconscious, with all the machines around him and a full beard.  He's hooked up to a nasal cannula in his nose giving him oxygen, an IV gives him nutrients, and wires snake out from the hospital gown that let them monitor his heart. Sam feels hands on his back and a chair slide underneath him.  He collapses in the chair before he can stop himself, reaching out a hand to take Dean’s limp hand in his. Turning his head, he looks back to see tears in Charlie’s eyes.   
  
“You did it.  I'll bring you some paperwork in a bit.  For now, just let him know you’re here.” She walks out, shutting the door and heading for the nurse’s station.  Sam needs this as much as the patient, Dean, she reminds herself, needs to know someone is there for him. 

  
Sam lets the tears fall when he hears the door latch closed.  He holds Dean’s hand between his own, twining his fingers with his husband's, putting the hands to his forehead.

He takes a moment to feel the skin he has known his whole life, feels the wedding band against this hand, and begins to sob.  His body shakes as the relief takes over; Sam found Dean, and with him in a coma, he has to believe Michael's out of him. There's no way he's come so far just to catch Michael trapped inside Dean. He looks at Dean’s face, now covered in a beard he wouldn’t normally let grow.  He laughs a little to himself, and genuinely smiles for the first time in weeks.   
  
“Dean, it’s me. I found you. Let me just tell you right now, I owe you a serious beatdown for making me chase you all the way here. I feel so stupid doing this, but the nurse said it would be good.  Her name is Charlie, can you believe it? I'm not going anywhere, so you focus on fighting this, and then get back to me. I love you.” Sam kisses the hand clutched between his own. But then, his exhaustion takes over, and he falls asleep, head on Dean’s leg, with a small smile on his lips. 

Sam suddenly snaps awake to a voice, and has to look around, confused.  An older doctor is smiling at him and waiting for a response. His gray hair and beard are perfectly groomed, and his brown eyes are soft.  He looks lean, very healthy for his age, which gives Sam some confidence in him.  
  
“Must’ve dozed off.  What did you say?” Sam tries a smile, but he can’t find one in his state of half sleep.   
  
“I was just asking your name son.”  Dr. Hastings watches Sam with sparkling blue eyes; he can tell the young man is haunted by something, even if he won't tell him.   
  
“Sam Winchester, and this here is my husband Dean.”  Sam kisses Dean’s hand.   
  
“My name is Dr. Mark Hastings. Nice to meet you, Sam.”  He holds out his hand, and Sam shakes it with a firm grip.   
  
“I am glad someone's here for him.  When he was brought in, he was babbling nonsense about angels.  Is he religious?”   
  
“Not really.  Who brought him in?”  Sam’s leg starts bouncing up and down as he waits for the answer.   
  
“No one. He came by ambulance.  He was found on the side of the road by a motorist who almost hit a deer.  They pulled over in a panic and saw his body. He was moaning and barely responsive.  When he got here, we thought possible concussion from a hit and run. He does have some internal injuries, but nothing like a car accident.  We are not sure why he’s in a coma now.”   
  
“I see.  Do you know when he'll wake up?” Sam bites his lip.   
  
“Not yet.  His injuries we found were not bad enough to cause a coma.  Right now, we just have to watch and wait. Talking to him might help.  I’ll come back to check on you both later. Try and get some rest, Sam.“  Dr. Hastings walks away, hoping that Sam won’t become a patient alongside his brother.   
  
The talk with the doctor only makes Sam more worried.  It sounds like Dean was himself before the coma, because Michael wouldn’t talk about angels, and he can heal himself.  Is this coma because Michael was too powerful and turned his brain into mashed potatoes? Sam feels like a rubber band.  He was so glad and relieved now he is back to being panicked again, class A emotional whiplash. Will Dean come out of this and be ok?  Sam feels the tears start to fall again, and puts Dean’s hand against his lips, trying to send his love deep into Dean's mind, where hopefully Dean can feel it.   
  
“Dean, please. I need you.  I can’t do this without you. I WON'T do this without you. I am so lost.  I can go on and do things like normal, but I feel so hollow inside, so empty.  You are the only thing I need to be whole again. Please come back.” Sam shakes again as the sobs burst out of him, like bubbles.  He can barely breathe between them, or control the volume. He feels like a piece of paper being slowly ripped apart.   
  
Charlie is making her rounds when she hears sobbing, her eyes beginning to prick with tears.  She knows those sounds of pain. She goes back to check on Dean’s vitals to make sure that something didn’t happen.  Dean's still steady as always, and she tries to hold back tears. She’s here to take care of so many, she can’t let sadness take over her.  Standing up, she goes back to work and makes a mental note to order a meal for Sam; he's gonna need his strength.   
  
Sam wakes up much later, this time to the smell of a cheeseburger. For a second, he thinks Dean's awake and eating. But then he sees a tray with a note on it.

 _This better be gone by the time I come back in here. You need to stay healthy. Charlie._   

He smiles and wishes, for a moment, that he could hold their Charlie one more time.  He eats the burger with fries and a cup of coffee; he actually didn’t realize how hungry he was until he took the first bite.  Moaning a little, he eats it all with satisfaction, feeling like he has a little more energy than before, and takes a moment to stand up and walk the room a bit to stretch himself out.  After visiting the bathroom, he sits back down, glad that he found Dean, but still worried about their future. He takes Dean’s hand again and holds it tight, kissing it again. He knows he's being a complete sap, and that if Dean were awake, Sam would never hear the end of it. But Sam doesn't care. He’ll wait for Dean to wake up and nothing will take him away.  

  
  
_Sam’s in the middle of a nightmare.  It's all in slow motion, the day Dean died to that hellhound all those years ago.  He can see the moment Dean sees the hellhound running for him. He reaches out, wanting to stop it, but he knows he won’t, can't.  He screams as the first blood appears, and runs for Dean. He knows he won’t reach him until after all the noises of the hellhound stop and Dean is in a pool of blood, his clothes ripped and bloody._   

He gasps himself awake and looks straight at Dean, relieved to see him whole and unbloodied in his hospital bed. He grabs Dean’s hand again and puts it to his forehead, letting the tears flow.  God, that day was so painful for Sam. He'd had to take Dean’s body to bury it after fighting with Bobby about not giving him a hunter’s funeral. He feels another wave of despair coming for him, like cold water creeping up his legs, the pain growing inside him.  Is Dean gonna die again? What if Sam never gets to tell him how much he loves him? Sam doesn’t know what to do anymore; he feels like he's been here forever, but really, it's only been a few days.

He squeezes Dean’s hand as the tears fall, when suddenly, he feels a squeeze back.  Sam’s head snaps up and he sees no change in Dean's face, but he knows what he felt.  He tries to pull his hand out of Dean’s to test it, and this time, he gets an even harder squeeze.

The door behind him flies open, and Charlie rushes in to see what is going on; her monitors were going crazy.  Dean’s eyes open and naturally, the first thing he sees is Sam. He smiles at Sam, who's staring at him with his mouth open, his brain frozen.   
  
“Where do you think you’re going?”  Dean’s voice is raspy, but his eyes are on fire with love.   
  
“Nowhere, Dean.  Just getting bored sitting here, with you being so lazy.”  Sam can’t stop crying but the small laugh he gets back makes his heart leap with joy.  He stands up and pulls Dean into a hard hug, pouring out all his pent-up fear and anxiety.  He just wants to let it all go, and love his husband at the same time. But then he hears a groaning noise, and immediately lets go.   
  
“Sorry, are you ok?” Sam sheepishly grins.   
  
“I’m fine, ya big dumb moose.  Just a little more gentle next time.”  Dean has tears on his cheeks too, and reaches up to wipe away Sam’s.  He pulls Sam’s head down and kisses him softly with all the love in his heart, just needing to feel Sam’s mouth.   
  
Charlie backs out of the door slowly, tears on her cheeks as well.  Wiping them away, she goes in search of Dr. Hastings so he can check on Dean.  She's so excited; it isn’t so often a patient comes out of a coma like this.

  
  
“I thought I'd never find you.  I was so worried. Michael took you.”  Sam shivers all over, body so wracked with emotion.   
  
“I know, but he’s gone.  I won’t be making that mistake again.  I love you.” Dean can’t stop running his hand through Sam’s hair.  He missed touching Sam. He missed doing anything himself. He’ll worry about why Michael is gone later. Right now, his husband is right here with him, and he's safe.   
  
Sam gets on the bed, curling up with his head on Dean’s shoulder.  Surrounding himself with familiar smells and the heartbeat he’s heard for as long as he can remember.  He’s asleep in seconds, and Dean chuckles as he hears the snores. Dr. Hastings comes in a few minutes later and goes to Dean’s side, checking him over as quickly and quietly as he can.  He’s glad to see Dean alert and able to answer simple questions. It looks like the worst is over, but once Sam is awake, they can go through a few more tests. He smiles, and slips out of the room to put the orders in for tests with Charlie.  This one was touch and go for a while, but at least there was a happy ending.


End file.
